I think you have to pick someone you connect with. I think that someone you are in a good relationship with, it shouldn't matter what they look like. That's part of it, but not all of it. In a good relationship, the looks of the person should not really be a big deal.

My parents are divorced too. I have been in a few relationships myself but have often found that I didn't know the first thing about them! My mom and I aren't really open about those sorts of things and my dad is not around.. so what I looked for in a guy was pretty much what I admired about other male figures in my own life (at church, at school). I think its important to have people you can look to for advice about relationships- timing, communication, trust etc. are all vital parts of a relationship that I believe take practice. So far, all I know about relationships are what I have learned through trial and error, or from other adults in my life who I feel safe enough to talk to. Not many people are blessed to have parents who are in a committed and healthy relationship, but I say find someone who you think has experience and who you trust, and ask lots of questions. Also, you learn from your past experiences so that can tell you a lot about relationships as well.

Sometimes we're not looking for love, or don't necessarily believe that we will truly love the person that we're committed to someday (we get in relationships for companionship, intimacy, entertainment, sometimes not all with intention of falling in love and settling down)- but when it's the real deal I don't know how much of a choice we have.In my experience with love, I've always had a hunch, and no matter what the logical part of my brain was telling me (this isn't the right guy for me, the timing is poor, etc.) my heart smirks on the interior and sends me little messages indicating how great my emotional connection to this person will be, despite my rational protests. I am currently in the midst of the heart/mind struggle, but I think you know, as does my boyfriend, which side has prevailed... Falling in love is most unpredictable, it is a wild adventure filled with some scary moments (being vulnerable and giving your love to another person can be terrifying!) and indescribable moments of beauty. Love persists, even through ridiculous circumstances and gives one the capacity to forgive and embrace things they never thought possible. It is truly something to be cherished, an entity worth mourning upon conclusion and a sensation unmatched.I believe that people do change, that circumstances change, and that sometimes divorce is necessary (for one, any indication of abuse, and the marriage should be over). However, I do agree with you, BroadwayBaby, that only fools rush in. Marriage is a huge deal, and you'll have the rest of your life to live within the that frame post ceremony. No need to step on the gas pedal for that one.

I think you should only start to be with someone if you believe in your heart that you will truly love them someday... I think love is where you love someone no matter what they did to you... And, in my opinion, there is no such thing as love at first sight.

I think the problem with divorce is that its the easy way out, unless your spouse beats you or has cheated on you, you should be able to work it out. Marriage councling or whatever you need. If you loved the person at one time, that person is still there, they just need to come out of their shell.

People should know EVERYTHING there is to know about their loved one before they walk down the aisle. Only Fools Rush in.

I think that although it can be difficult, it's best to stay optimistic about these things. Relationships can be extremely difficult but 9 times out of 10, they are beneficial whether successful or not. Just because you don't stay with your significant other doesn't necessarily mean you didn't benefit from it. You learn, you prosper. Although your parents are divorced, they still had you and therefore benefitted.

Relationships can work. But it takes an equal amount of effort from both sides. An equal amount of determination and passion. You'll find the right one :)

Two of my best friends have a nice relationship but i woudnt now cause my parents divorced but they seem sorta happy with there new spouses. but did you notice that kid who have divorced parents gravtate toward kids who also have divored parents

Even if you hate the writing, love that someone has the courge to write it.

 

that's true

Examples of beautiful relationships don't have to come from movies or from the family you grew up in.  As over 50% of us come from broken families, it's quite unlikely that home will be the best place to look for such, and although that is hard to swallow, great relationships are out there everywhere.  I happen to be in the wedding of one of my best friends this summer, and her and her man have the best relationship I've ever seen.  He is incredibly supportive, works two jobs (as a flight instructor and as a manager of a restaurant) while she gets straight A's in grad school and takes care of her special needs 4 year old.  They are incredibly loving, understanding, and accomodating of each other and I often look to them as an example.

I think in terms of finding a 'good' (by good do you mean healthy? romantic? etc.  I agree that you need to narrow your scope) relationship, it just takes practice.  Everyone that I've ever been involved with, while not perfect for me just yet, has taught me an infinite amount about what I need from a partner and what I am able to provide as one.

 I'd say, get your feet wet.  Get out there and you'll be surprised how 'good' some relationships can be.  It's okay for people to have a bad relationship too, as long as they learn from it.  It's all part of growing up, something that I don't think stops until one's over 80...